At a Philippine Sportswriters Association Forum, there was sweet science analyst Hermie Rivera expounding on a law the United States’ 106th congress enacted “To reform unfair and anticompetitive practices in the pro boxing business.”

“It’s known as the Muhammad Ali Boxing Reform Act’….he was saying. But I was on another wavelength since that beating administered by Erik Morales to our icon Manny Pacquiao.

As Hermie talked—his voice reminding me of Howard Cossell, my mind wandered into the ‘70s when long hair was a yes-yes and bad-mouthing the guys in khaki– a no-no.

Late September of ‘75, the Louisville Lip swapped niceties with Malacanan Palace’s longest residents after which the ‘Greatest’ rearranged Joe Frazier’s face in their ‘Thrilla in Manila’ at the Araneta Coliseum.

I was into my first decade as a sportswriter then. My idols were broadcast guys who I envied for their hilarious coverage of sports events live: Joe Cantada, Ronnie Nathanielsz, Milt Alingod and – of course – Hermenegildo, Herminio, Hermie Rivera, whatever.

I got good grades from my ever alert English teachers, but I never entertained working behind a microphone chiefly because I was absent when God distributed melodious and bedroom voices.

Later on, I realized I chose the right profession. Here’s why: After finishing my story, I can improve it by rewriting and re-writing it some more, not to mention my sports editor’s help in case I needed it.

Broadcasting? It’s a glamorous job, but it has one major disadvantage. Since broadcasters do their thing with spontaneity, they don’t have the luxury of correcting the inevitable bloopers they make.

As a sportswriter, I agree 110 percent with Alexander Pope that “To err is human, to forgive is divine.” But to my bros in broadcast, they should listen to Kermit Schafer’s advice: “To forgive is human, to err is divine.”

After all, you don’t see print bloopers often, do you? Air bloopers? there are zillions of them. Here are some gems:

How’s that again? Sportscaster: “The broad jump was won by Larry Crawford, the pole vault was won by Dick Staley, the relay race was won by St. Ignace U. And now, the event you have been waiting for, the thousand mile dash!”

Of Mouse and Man. Sportscaster: “This is Jack Drees bringing you another major PGA golf event from the White Mouse Country Club in Philadelphia… Oh, I’m sorry that should be White Marsh Country Club.”

Hey, Mister, Which DiMaggio, Joe or Dom? Baseball announcer: “DiMaggio is back, back, back to the wall, his head hits it. It drops to the ground. He picks it up and throws it back to third.

Silent A as in Dumas. During a television quiz show, a woman contestant wrestled with the rather difficult pronunciation of “Alexander Dumas.” She should have left well enough alone.
Announcer: “Here’s your question. There was a famous French author who wrote many famous stories such as ‘The Black Tulip’ and ‘The Tree Musketeers’ What’s the author’s name?”
Contestant: “Oh, my golly… I’m nervous… Let me see now… Oh! Alexander Dumb-ass! (Laughter) Oh! Henry Dumb-ass!

It’s Tongue Twisting All Right. At station break, the announcer said: “Before or after watching a beautiful basketball game, be sure to drop by Palmetto Garden Restaurant for a pretail and cockmeal.”

Major, Minor, Whatever. Radio Announcer: “And now, Van Cliburn is going to play Tchaikovsky Piano Concerto in Blee Fat Minor… I beg your pardon, that should be Fee Blat Minor!”

Even the Superstars Commit Bloopers. Ed Sullivan told about some of the winter sports athletes he was going to have in his show: “Among them will be the world Sholom champion.”

Ooolala! On Red Benson’s television show “Name That Tune” a sexy French girl and a sailor were the contestants. The orchestra played “The Anniversary Waltz.” The girl said: “Oh, How Ve Dance On Ze Nite Ve Were Ved.”
Replied Red: “No, that’s a line from it.” He then turns on the sailor and asked, “Sir, if you were married to this beautiful girl, what would you be singing a year from now?”
He looked at the girl, smiled and then answered: Rock-A-Bye-Baby.”