By Michael Marley

Bang the drum quietly. I don’t think too many Oscar de la Hoya fans really want to go into the New Year hearing about how their tarnished idol is coming back to give a licking to the not so prodigal son, Julio Cesar Chavez Jr.

But, if he does come back and I lean towards him doing so, Oscar will have to have some ready made excuses for his pitiful performance against Manny Pacquaio.

I’ve decided to give Oscar a leg up with the following excuses he can use as promo fodder for a fight in Estadio Azteca against JC Jr.

1. OK, my left hand, including my jab and hook, are completely useless. I now vow to turn back the son of the legend from Sinaloa with just my right hand. No more trigger jokes, please, because I have been disarmed.

2. I am putting together a new team of legendary trainers like never before…Ray Arcel, Freddie Brown, Whitey Bimstein, Chappie Blackburn…whaddya mean, they’re all dead? Well, I will come up with a wrinkle here because you know what a lousy job Beristain and that Dundee guy did.

3. I have never lost to a Mexican in Mexico.

4. I have never lost even to a Filipino in Mexico.

5. I have never fought in Mexico.

6. I will fight without a stool in my corner thus removing temptation to quit while in a seated position.

7. I’ve never said this before but Richard Schaefer and I were so upset about the turmoil in the banking industry that I could not get my mind right for the Pacman bout.

8. That little Irish rat, Freddie Roach, won’t be irritating me with his trigger jokes or devising simple but wickedly effective stratagies against my limited, shell of my former self.

9. Hey, I got it, let’s bring Roach back to my corner. That’s the ticket!

10. I see that Ring magazine still has me ranked #1 in any division I so choose.

11. Bonus Round 1: I never get my butt kicked back to back.

12. Bonus Round 2: Did I mention that I have never lost a fight in my beloved Mexico? Btw, does anybody know where this Estadio Azteca is located? Is it near Cancun or Tampico?