By Michael Marley

They say that British humor is an acquired taste. I suppose finding it funny is like being accustomed to the sickening taste of Vegemite.

But let’s stop with the jokes about that guy, “another opponent,” who the Ricky Hatton threatens to put into the ring to replace Manny Pacquiao.

The Hatton camp, caught in a baldfaced lie, claims it has a ready made substitute foe who it can plug in and draw 80,000 paying customers to watch the mystery man (TBA or TBD?) fight Hatton.

Don’t ask me how I did it because I’d have to kill you if I told you but I’ve gotten the names of the possible Pacman replacements:

1. Jim Nasium—Always works up a good sweat.
2. Manuel Labor—From south of the border.
3. Carmen Ghia—Got plenty of drive.
4. Mike Rofone—Great prefight talker.
5. Kenny Standup—Spent more time on canvas than Rembrandt.
6. Manuel Transmission—Said to be great ring mechanic.
7. Ben Dover—No chin, has been more times than ship with a drunken crew.
8. KO Pectate—Been known to clear out many an arena.
9. Chuck Roast—Ready to “meat” any tough foe.
10. Rick O’Shea—Dublin-based slugger on the rebound.
11. Paddy O’Furniture—So hardy he stays in backyard year round.
12. Billy Klubb—Former NYC cop has fists like nightsticks.

So you see, Pacman and Pacfans, the Hatton camp has plenty of options. It’s like me at breakfast when I can choose between Vegemite or Krazy Glue.